I watched the images of the destruction in Japan with tears that wouldn't stop falling. Weird for me. I am very good at delegating emotions to where they are easiest to deal with. Big stuff gets put somewhere that's not too close because I can't feel that much or I might break - I have to carry on with my life. But this time I couldn't dismiss it - couldn't stop the pain. Maybe its the child inside of me - maybe I was already emotional because Jonathan was gone, but ultimately I think it was a gift of the Holy Spirit - to share in some of the pain God feels.

It is always short-lived, this grief for tragedy far away, and maybe it has to be in order to go on with life and to deal with all these little tragedies in peoples lives around me.

And now that I am a few days removed from those feelings, now that I am able to talk about it and to put the feelings away as necessary, what I am left with is this: I know that Satan is very serious in his attempts to destroy - shouldn't I be just as serious in my own life - in my own attempts to save and to heal and to minister? There's just not enough time to do what we've always done. And while my husband is across the ocean trying to push home this truth to people in England, God is teaching me here.