child talk
For those of you who do not know - I work at a child care center. I work in the office, taking care of the parents :) I do have frequent interaction with the children, though - like this morning. They missed their bus, well I guess actually we missed their bus - anyway, I was the only one who could take them to school - so off I went with what we shall call Child 1 and Child 2 - both 5 years old.

Me: O.K. guys, give me just a minute to get the seatbelt out here (stuggling with all my might with the back seat seat belt - with freezing hands)

Child 1: My mommy said I have to take off my backpack and put it in the floor.

Me: mmmhhhhmmmm. (still struggling furiously)

Child 2: (dancinig around and then jumping into the backseat where I am working)

Me: Child 2, could you please get out for a minute and let me fix this?

Child 1: My Mommy SAID I HAVE to take off my backpack and put it in the floor!!!!

Me: Yes, child 2, I understand. We will certainly take it off. (finally wrestling the seatbelt from the abyss of the backseat) Alright, in you go!

Child 1: My mommy said.....

Me: Yes! Let's get that backpack off right now.

*Driving to the school*

Child 1: I went to a baby shower with my mommy, her friend had a baby, it was fun.

Child 2: We have a baby shower and it still works! (said with much pride)

Child1: No, a baby shower is something for the mommy to get presents.

Child 2: ...and I can still use our baby shower - I fixed it and made it bigger!

*arrive at the school - about 2 feet from the drop-off point*

Me: o.k. guys go ahead and take off your seat belts

Child 1: My mommy says never to take off your seatbelt till the car stops.

Child 2: (already took his off)

Me: well, yes, but we're here....

Child 2: (about to open the door to jump out)

Me: No! not yet we have to go up a little farther.

Child 2: But I took my seat belt off!!!!

*pull up the two feet*

Me: o.k. - out you go!

Child 1: I have to put on my backpack when I get out of the car.

Me: yes, yes, bye! Have a good day!

*children exit and I drive away*
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Weddings
There were to be no ceremonious performances, verything was to be as natural and homelike as possible, so when Aunt March arrived, she was scandalized to see the bride come running to welcome and lead her in, to find the bridegroom fastening up a garland that had fallen down . . .
"Upon my word, here's a state of things!" cried the old lady, taking the seat of honor prepared for her, and settling the folds of her lavender moire with a great rustle. "You oughtn't to be seen till the last minute, child."
"I'm not a show, Aunty, and no one is coming to stare at me, to criticize my dress, or count the cost of my luncheon. I'm too happy to care what anyone says or things, and I'm going ot have my little wedding just as I like it. John, dear, here's your hammer." And away went Meg to help 'that man' in his highly improper employment.

Mr. Brooke didn't even say, "Thank you," but as he stopped for the unromantic tool, he kissed his little bride behind the folding door, with a look that made Aunt March whisk out her pocket handkerchief with a sudden dew in her sharp old eyes.

There was no bridal procession, but a sudden silence fell on the room as Mr. March and the young couple tool ther places under the green arch. Mother and sisters gathered close, as if loath to give Meg up. The fatherly voice broke more than once, which only seemed to make the service more beautiful and solemn. The bridegroom's hand trembled visibly, and no one heard his replies. But Meg looked straight up in her husband's eyes, and said, "I will!" with such tender trust in her own face and voice that her mother's heart rejoiced and Aunt March sniffed audibly.

I love this part of Little Women. I often wavered between this idea of the perfect wedding and the idea of a grand celebration that bordered on fairytale. All the preparations were geared toward the fairytale and making sure all the family was happy. Then a couple of weeks before the wedding we decided we didn't want the grand ball - we wanted something simple and "us", so I called some people at my home church, told them what I wanted and they did it, all of it, beautiful decorations, wonderful food, they even built a canopy to go over mine and Jonathan's table. It was perfect and beautiful.

Jonathan and I didn't get to see each other much at all the week before - we were each serving our families in different ways. The day of the wedding came crashing down on me - all the people and all the preparations - all the expectations. I had a small breakdown because I had forgotten Jonathan's boutonniere at home and I just couldn't stop crying, so Jonathan and I then went away together and prayed and had a little worship. I remember he sang "Give Me Jesus" with the words "Oh, and on our wedding day, oh and on our wedding day, oh and on our wedding day - give me Jesus." I calmed down, but was still far from Meg's innocent excitement . . . until I was all finished getting ready and I walked out onto the balcony, (we were taking pictures before the ceremony) and I looked down at all the people, dressed so very prettily, waiting for me to come down. And then I saw Jonathan, so very handsome in his tux - smiling up at me and I suddenly turned into Meg. I was absolutely estatic, I couldn't stop smiling. I no longer cared what happened, I just knew I was marrying the most wonderful man I had ever known. The rest of the day was absolutely perfect, right up to the end when we drove away together ... straight to the Piggly Wiggly to get some food because we had been too excited to eat at the reception. I've never eaten more delicious croissants and peanut butter in my life. Absolute Perfection.


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Silly Woman
Last Night before bed . . .

Jonathan: I have to work tomorrow.
Jodi: I know.
Jonathan: that means 7:30.
Me: I know. You work every Monday and we always have to be there by 7:30. (I didn't say it, but I was thinking, duh.)
Jonathan: o.k.

This Morning . . .
Jonathan walks in at 7:23. I am standing at the stove in my pajamas about to pour the oatmeal into the pot.

Jonathan: Babe! are you not going to work today?!
Me: ofcourse I am. I'm just making some breakfast.
Jonathan: just stares in disbelief.
*the light bulb comes on over my head*
Jodi: Oh no! I forgot.

This is not a singular incident. I am notorious for this kind of thing. I don't know, I think I just block things out that I don't like, or don't deem that important at the time. For example, Jonathan tutors every Thursday - it used to be on Monday and then I asked him to change it so we could have more time together on Mondays - because I get off work earlier. Well, I NEVER remember this change. Every Thursday I get upset when he reminds me he is tutoring - because I have inevitably made plans. goofy.
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Winter Contemplation
the snow clung just beautifully to this tree

Trooper paw prints on the ledge outside the window.

Winter came rather suddenly this year, and as I was waiting for my husband to come back from snow-shoveling and I was looking out my window - I got lost in a reverie. I don't do this often. I very rarely just sit and think of nothing in particular. Winter does this to me. While I was revering (fun word, no?) I thought about what the different seasons make us focus on. I am a season girl - LOVE them. I love the change from one to another. I decided that Winter is a season very much about the present, at least here in Michigan, but even at home I don't really remember making a lot of future plans in the winter. Winter is about living one day to the next. Shoveling your way to your car - trudging back home - being grateful to be inside and warm. And this season came at the perfect time - a time when God is trying to teach me how to live in the moment - how to be satisfied with right now and not puting all my hopes for happiness and fulfillment in the future. I've been enjoying my husband - as much in the moment as I can. He pointed out the other day that we are actually still newlyweds - I don't know what the cutoff point is, but I imagine 17 months still counts. So, this winter I will revel in the present - I will see what God has in store, right now, not in a couple years.







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Blessed
Well, remember when I said that unless something happened I would be a happy Christmas gift-giver this year? Something happened. We were about 5 minutes from home Saturday night when our Jeep began a gradual shut-down. First, the speedometer stopped working, then the radio shut off, and then the lights began getting dimmer and dimmer and dimmer, until there were no lights. I told Jonathan, "I bet God is just gonna get us home before this vehicle stops working." I was absolutely right. As soon as we turned into our driveway - she completely stopped. The altenator. One Hundred and Twenty Nine Dollars. It seems more dramatic when I write the numbers out. So, I asked myself, is God trying to tell me something about Christmas gifts? No, He's not. He's just blessing me.

1. I will get my Christmas bonus on Tuesday, just enough to cover the altenator. Just enough. Which means, we can actually drive home for Christmas, and we don't have to go into any more debt to get it repaired.

2. It went out now, before I spent the money on Christmas gifts, and not while we were hurtling down an interstate somewhere in the wee hours of the morning. It went out just as we got home.

3. My dear husband, with a ton of homework for finals week hanging over his head, repaired our jeep. He worked on it for hours and hours. He looked at his manual, and he did it. I am so proud of my little city boy. He's learned so much about mechanics through this jeep. I am so impressed with him for even trying, much more so for actually doing it! I would have taken one look at those impossible diagrams and that greasy engine and said, forget it! But he stuck with it and what was broken is now in complete working order.

So, I am grateful. Very, very grateful. Merry Christmas.
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Christmas Gifts

I really, really like giving Christmas gifts - really. Since I've been married and all on my own - I haven't been able to buy any Christmas gifts, and it drives me crazy - I whine and complain and feel guilty - which is certainly NOT what Christmas is all about. I realize many find the whole gift-giving thing materialistic, but I want to give gifts to my friends and family - I don't feel like its mandatory, no one is actually upset when they don't receive a gift from me, they understand and are very supportive about it. But I want to. I love wrappinig them in the perfect, beautiful paper - looking at them for weeks under the tree, knowing I found THE PERFECT gift for everyone on my list. That's the best part, finding the perfect gift, everything individualized.


ANYWAY, I think this year I may have budgeted just right, and I may have a wee amount of money to spend for said gifts. I made my list, practical and inexpensive - and I am content. YAY! Unless something unforseen happens, and it very well could, I will be a happy little gift-giver this year.
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The Perfect Wife
I've tried so hard to be the perfect wife. The woman who keeps things looking nice, who makes sure we have breakfast in the morning, who is supportive - my husband's biggest fan, the woman who plans and organizes - and the woman who is constantly thinking of the other ways she can improve as a wife - trying not to look like a bum at home, becoming more in control of her emotions, learning to sew, and on and on and on and on. ...and then I hear - in a sweet, concerned voice...
"but I didn't marry a 'wife', I married you."
In all of this becoming I stopped being. Does that make sense? I had to step back this morning and take a look at things - I'm trying to please someone who doesn't exsist, and in the process I don't know what my real husband wants out of our marriage, and he has a hard time telling me because I'm always "trying so hard" to do things perfectly, so whenever he mentions something that he isn't happy with - I am destroyed, completely. In my mind it means I have failed. surely it shouldn't be that way - surely I shouldn't constantly worry about failing as a wife. Where does that come from? I'm sure I need some kind of psycho-analysis, but I will save that for another time. *sigh*
Having said this, I have no idea where to go next. My "little woman" train has been derailed and I'll have to find another mode of transportation..............
maybe a roadtrip with my husband, destination unknown.
Yes, I like that image. Maybe I just need to start "being", whatever that means. I need to relax, stop being so uptight - enjoy my husband. I guess. I really have no idea what I'm saying anymore, but maybe if I keep typing it will all come together, right?
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Charlie Brown Christmas



Nothing gets me in the Christmas spirit like Charlie Brown. Especially the music - as soon as I hear it, I can feel Christmas - I can see the trees and the twinkly lights - smell the hot cocoa. *sigh of contentment*




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It's December 1st and all is well....
At least everything is in my world. Here are a few updates.

- Thanksgiving was nice. Nice is a good word. It was relaxing - we ate later than usual, and the food was especially delicious - I'd like to think this was because I made pecan pie, sweet potato casserole, stuffing and mashed potatoes, I was quite the contributor :) I got to spend a good amount of time with everyone who needed it, which is a feat, let me tell you. I got to decorate some cupcakes too - I'll put up some pics later.

- My dear friend was baptized. It was wonderful. Actually, it was perfect. I'm so glad we were able to make it so special for her, and it was special - perfectly taylored to her. God, hold on tight to her and don't let us relax and think our job is done, it is just beginning.

- I am currently listening to Christmas music! Christmas music is always so robust and full - yes, that is exactly what it is. It just has a way of filling a room and commanding attention. I love Christmas. We are getting a real tree this year - and it's going to be real fun keeping the cats out of it :)
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