Jonathan and I had an interview yesterday. A couple of reps from the South England Conference came to town. I went with him - but I said nothing more than hello and good-bye. I don't really have any feelings about this, it was just what I expected. They didn't ask me any questions, but they didn't really ask Jonathan any questions either, they already knew him and the position needs to be filled now and not in year when he finishes, so this was really more of a keeping in touch interview. But it kind of brought to the forefront the things I have been thinking. I always say "we" when I talk about "our" ministry, but sometimes I wonder how joint it will and even can be. Where does my ministry really lie - I wonder that for here and now. What does God want me to do for him? It's not the same as Jonathan; some of the things that excite him do nothing for me, but right now I spend a lot of time supporting him in his ministry, but I don't really think of it as mine. Maybe I should. Do you know what I've always wanted to do? I've always wanted to have a big house - not extravagant, but big enough to hold non-family members, and I want to take people into my home - people who need some help...young, single moms, ex-convicts, homeless people - and to take care of them and show them what it looks like to live in a family who cares about each other and what it feels like to be in a home where the Holy Spirit lives. It may be an immature and naive idea - to think someone could be changed in that way, but I believe they could. The people I believe I have reached in my life, were reached because I took them into my life and they saw another option - another way of living.

A woman - especially the woman of a minister - has such an interesting and confusing place in the scheme of things. Is it my ministry as a pastor's wife to support the pastor and make sure his "dreams and visions" from God become reality? Maybe so. I am not adverse to that at all. I believe God has given me that gift, and given me a husband who needs the kind of support I can give. I guess these ponderings have been pondered by many - but I'm working through them - trying to find my place.