I have the need to re-create things. Re-create moments and events - trying to capture the exact feeling I once felt. When I go on vacation in the summer I want the air temperature in the hotel or cabin to be arctic because that's the way it's supposed to be...you're supposed to come in from the sweltering day and almost throw your body into shock when you walk into the refrigerator that is your temporary home. Not only do you keep the temperature the same as you remember, you go to the same place you've always gone...the smokey mountains. You MUST drive in through the long winding path that suddenly thrusts you into Gatlinburg (even though that road ALWAYS makes you carsick - but that's part of the experience), and you must ... this could really keep going, but I think only one or two of you would know what I was talking about. This problem doesn't just apply to vacations; I do this with everything. I am actually planning to do it tomorrow. My family and friends from church and I used to attend an Easter passion play every spring at a university about 2 hours away. We would load up the car with the most abundant and wonderful picnic food you can imagine (pringles in at least 4 different varieties), and we would picnic at the same spot every year before going to see the play. Well, there is a similar event happening here in Michigan tomorrow, and all I can think of is, how do I make it perfect? By this I mean, how do I recreate the good feelings I have associated with this event in the past? But as I do this I realize I am setting myself up for disappointment. It is not 2 hours away, it is 2 minutes away. My family and church friends are not here, there are only 3 of us going. Why would we need 4 cans of pringles? It is about 50 degrees instead of 70 (so no 1st sunburn of the year) sigh. sigh. sigh.

My husband tells me I need to experience things as they happen and not try to mold them to fit what I think is a good time (which reading over this I now realize includes hypothermia, car sickness, and a sun burn, hmmmm). I agree with him, and I know it's true, but . . . maybe I don't know how to live for the moment. Is that something you can learn?
2 Responses
  1. Heather Rose Says:

    I don't know. It's what sanguines DO. So, I'm thinking it's easy for him to say, but not so easy to mimic.

    I'm slightly depressed at the moment. I keep going through in my head how you and Jonathan could surprise us by showing up this sabbath...we would make the unplanned 2 hour trip, and you would have it all ready to go...pringles, frychik and all. Sigh.

    I'll be alright when we actually do something sabbath, 'cause I can get wrapped up in what's actually going on, being sanguine and all. I'm just disappointed building up to it. I know it won't be quite right. Huff.

    I miss you.


  2. this is the problem with us women attaching emotion to events and memories. It makes the experience all the better for it at the time, but it is not the same.
    you could walk from your house instead of driving and then it would take 30 minutes to get there instead of 2. :)
    please take pictures of the passion play. the one time I was able to see it two years ago it was snowing and they had to modify it so much to indoors. they eliminated the gethsemone part as well.
    I miss you so much. especially when I read something like this post. you are so wonderful.