I am currently reading Wild at Heart by John Eldredge. It's a book about helping men to understand their own hearts - their masculine hearts that God created. Jonathan just read it and he couldn't stop raving about it - so I figured if it spoke to him that much, I needed to read it. I'm only on page 42 now, but I'm really enjoying it. There's one particular paragraph I can't get out of my head. It actually has nothing to do with men, it's talking about the feminine side of God - but when I read it - it was like a splash of water on my face - that turned into tears.
Often when I am with a woman, I find myself quietly wondering, What is she telling me about God? I know he wants to say something to the world through Eve - what is it? and after years of hearing the heart-cry of women, I am convinced beyond a doubt of this: God wants to be loved. He wants to be a priority to someone. How could we have missed this? From cover to cover, from beginning to end, the cry of God's heart is, "Why won't you choose Me? It is amazing to me how humble, how vulnerble God is on this point. "You will...find me, says the Lord, when you seek me with all your heart" (Jer 29:13) In other words, look for me, pursue me - I want to you to pursue me. Amazing.
Simple right? But I had missed it. I never knew I could relate to God on that level. I know how He feels, I know what its like to long to be the most important person to someone; the yearning for love - the yearning to feel that someone thinks you are beautiful and special. And it broke my heart and made it swell at the same time. I can see the masculine God - the risk-taker, the rescuer, the lover - but I had never really understood Him completely as a friend until I realized the feminine in Him. We broke His heart - I know exactly how that feels. He crys, why don't you love me? What can I do to make you love me? While I've never used those words, everything I do expresses them - I am constantly seeking the love and affection of my husband and my friends -
love me,
love me,
love me.
Crying even now as I hear him, I have done everything, I will do anything - I just want you to love me.
wow. amazing. There is so much more to this - God has put in me clues to who He is, those deep longings are a reflection of His - I will have to ponder this some more, and in the mean-time, lavish God with the kind of love I seek.
Often when I am with a woman, I find myself quietly wondering, What is she telling me about God? I know he wants to say something to the world through Eve - what is it? and after years of hearing the heart-cry of women, I am convinced beyond a doubt of this: God wants to be loved. He wants to be a priority to someone. How could we have missed this? From cover to cover, from beginning to end, the cry of God's heart is, "Why won't you choose Me? It is amazing to me how humble, how vulnerble God is on this point. "You will...find me, says the Lord, when you seek me with all your heart" (Jer 29:13) In other words, look for me, pursue me - I want to you to pursue me. Amazing.
Simple right? But I had missed it. I never knew I could relate to God on that level. I know how He feels, I know what its like to long to be the most important person to someone; the yearning for love - the yearning to feel that someone thinks you are beautiful and special. And it broke my heart and made it swell at the same time. I can see the masculine God - the risk-taker, the rescuer, the lover - but I had never really understood Him completely as a friend until I realized the feminine in Him. We broke His heart - I know exactly how that feels. He crys, why don't you love me? What can I do to make you love me? While I've never used those words, everything I do expresses them - I am constantly seeking the love and affection of my husband and my friends -
love me,
love me,
love me.
Crying even now as I hear him, I have done everything, I will do anything - I just want you to love me.
wow. amazing. There is so much more to this - God has put in me clues to who He is, those deep longings are a reflection of His - I will have to ponder this some more, and in the mean-time, lavish God with the kind of love I seek.
I love this. Thank you for sharing!
Jodi Michelle, these posts of yours are getting better and better.
I've never related with God on this point, either. I've often thought of the love He's given us, and that we were created to love & be loved, but never this exactly.
Thank you, and I love you. ^_^
I read that book to, and the companion book for women "captivating." Wild at Heart changed my life... and I really mean that. It helped me understand my husband and God in a way I never could before. It completely changed my marriage and my way of viewing men. I love what you said about God. It's so true. You're a very good writer Jodi!