Showing posts with label my mind. Show all posts
Showing posts with label my mind. Show all posts
Winter Contemplation
the snow clung just beautifully to this tree

Trooper paw prints on the ledge outside the window.

Winter came rather suddenly this year, and as I was waiting for my husband to come back from snow-shoveling and I was looking out my window - I got lost in a reverie. I don't do this often. I very rarely just sit and think of nothing in particular. Winter does this to me. While I was revering (fun word, no?) I thought about what the different seasons make us focus on. I am a season girl - LOVE them. I love the change from one to another. I decided that Winter is a season very much about the present, at least here in Michigan, but even at home I don't really remember making a lot of future plans in the winter. Winter is about living one day to the next. Shoveling your way to your car - trudging back home - being grateful to be inside and warm. And this season came at the perfect time - a time when God is trying to teach me how to live in the moment - how to be satisfied with right now and not puting all my hopes for happiness and fulfillment in the future. I've been enjoying my husband - as much in the moment as I can. He pointed out the other day that we are actually still newlyweds - I don't know what the cutoff point is, but I imagine 17 months still counts. So, this winter I will revel in the present - I will see what God has in store, right now, not in a couple years.







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People are messy.
They are not clean and clear and easy to direct. Just because you tell them the right answer - it doesn't mean they will listen or care. Just because you point them in the right direction and say - "go that way" - it doesn't mean they will - more than likely they will just turn around again, and perhaps even just continue turning round and round till they are dizzy and don't know where they are. Sometimes I just want out - I want away from people and their issues, but of course, then I'm still there and my issues are still there. Sometimes I feel the need to sterilize my life - make things clean - make them straight-foward and right.

I find that some of the messiest people are Christians - people who are trying desperately to know God. Because it is those people who have to fight part of themselves, but who first have to decide which part to fight - messy, complicated. And I wonder what God thinks when he looks at us fighting, stuggling, pulling ourselves down, going in circles getting dizzy, complicated and messy. If he were me he would throw up his hands and say "What's wrong with you?! It's not that hard!" and then He would walk away. But, at least from what I know and can read about Him, He instead encourages the fighting and stuggling, holds us still when we've made ourselves dizzy from going round in circles - and isn't at all phased by our messiness.

Perfect God of holiness, put a piece of yourself in me - the piece that doesn't run away from messy people, but runs toward them.
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